It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
