and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
