part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
