Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize