i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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