Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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