Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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