Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize