I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
