Just fell off a train. Bad.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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