He uses pillows to masturbate.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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