I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
