some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
