so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
