what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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