4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
