I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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