thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
