"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
