Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
