I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
