Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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