just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
