3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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