It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize