it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
