i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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