so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
