I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
