Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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