What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize