I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
honey bunches of taint.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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