my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
