I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel like death gave me a hand job
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
