my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize