it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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