HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
