Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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