This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize