Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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