they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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