So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
