But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
