I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
