so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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