The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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