Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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