3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
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