Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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