God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
