his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
