My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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