My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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