we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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