my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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