You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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