I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
