and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
