You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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