I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
