i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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