Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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