She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize