I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
