yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
