one two three fourrrrnication!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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