dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Everything about him screamed your future.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
