Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
last night I used snow as a chaser
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
