doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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