help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
