we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
