I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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