HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
