On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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