I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
