Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
