marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Alive.
So much puke
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
